Although there are more anti-bullying programs, Matt's Safe School Law in Michigan and other state laws in the USA to stop bullying, school bullying has increased by 50% in the past decade. When we first started our Abuse Bites program in 2005-2006 1 out of 10 students were bullied, now it's 1 in 5. I often hear that anti-bullying programs make bullying worse, yet our presentations encourage and empower others to make a positive change and break the victim mentality from their lives so everyone can survive a bullying encounter. Our program has been proven to bring change in 89% of those surveyed who were either bullied or bullying. "Change You, Change Your World," Lisa Freeman says. Read the reviews!
With all the roar about school bullying or kids being bullied in school, parents are blaming schools and school officials for the bullying problem. We tend to think that's where the bullying problem lies--within the four walls of our schools. If that were true, that would be a simple solution to this devastating problem that is taking lives at a rapid rate every day in our communities.
But bullying isn't just in the schools and something our kids face each day, bullies are everywhere, in our churches, our work places, and even our homes.
Bullying is a huge problem that takes community effort to resolve. Most bullying occurs due to jealousy and the bully wanting to control others. Bullies have often been bullied or abused themselves, so therefore they act out. Some do it to get or have friends. Others think they are merely joking, and aren't aware that they are hurting people. Bystanders are bully too, by witnessing bullying, walking away, and doing nothing to help the target or victim and so the bullying cycle continues.
So let's be proactive and Stop Bullying In Every Realm:
1. Parents Can Stop Abuse/Bullying/and Violence
a. Beware of your words-- do not verbally bash other people
b. If you accept others-- your kids will too
c. If you lash out in violence-- your kids will too
d. Talk to your children about bullying (physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, peer pressure) and explain that hurtful jokes, leaving others out, or not accepting those different from them is a form of bullying.
e. If your child is the victim/target of bullying at school, report it and try to work with your child's school, but if at any time you don't feel comfortable with the way the school is handling the problem, you can switch schools or have them schooled at home and have a tutor come in.
f. Never approach the child who has been bullying your child or their parents, always contact the school or authorities.
g. If you have a bully in your home who is out of control seek outside help.
h. Individual and family counseling is always a good place to start when trying to stop abusive or bullying behaviors.
i. If your spouse is being violent, you may have to make a safety plan and escape with the children until that person gets the help and healing they need.
2. Schools Can Stop Bullying, Abuse, and Violence
a. By admitting there is bullying (most schools deny they have a problem)
b. By having a bullying policy in place and enforcing that as well as anti-bullying laws set up by that state
c. Act quickly on any and all bullying reports
d. Work with students and parents and listen carefully to both sides
e. Consider a private way for students to report bullying through email or text so kids can report in a safe, user friendly way
f. Don't expose the victim or bully, but rather find a solution to the bullying problem that will satisfy all parties involved
g. Understand that bullying often leads to retaliation when not handled immediately, and realize that many times victims are punished when they are forced to lash out because they feel as it was their only choice--many times it's the victims/targets who are punished and not the bully.
h. Take advantage of anti-bullying programs like Abuse Bites that encourage and empower students and family, as well as school staff to break the victim mentality, help bullies change, and help bystanders to speak up. We're working with you, not against you.
i. Many schools are being sued because of bullying that is not handled and dealt with and leads up to a child committing suicide. Prevent suicide by educating your students through programs like ours at Abuse Bites. We are passionate about changing hearts and saving lives.
Let us help you by working together to make our schools, homes, and communities a safer place. Contact us Today
3. Employees Can Stop Bullying, Abuse, Violence, and Harassment in the Workplace
a. By watching what you say-- never talk bad about someone else, next time they may be talking about you
b. Report all forms of abuse, bullying, violence and harassment to the manager/head boss
c. Don't use your position to bully others.
d. Maintain a friendly attitude to even those who tend to bully
e. Seek counseling or medical attention to deal with illness or stress caused by bullying
f. Do not let the bully know they are getting to you
g. Seek another job if possible
h. Ask to be moved to another area if possible
i. Do not retaliate--revenge always escalates the bullying problem
4. Churches can stop abuse, bullying, and violence
a. By realizing bullying is a problem even in the church
b. By not being silent and letting it fester and grow
c. By speaking up and educating and empowering their congregations
d. By meeting with those involved and working out a resolution that works for everyone
e. By supporting and offering counseling to those who have abuse, bullying or violent problems
f. By offering help/change to the bully, victim/target through programs like Abuse Bites
g. By loving as Jesus loved, no prejudices, equality and acceptance of all
h. By helping bullies to find their gifts and callings so they can make the transformation
i. By being patient and loving to nurture growth, yet being firm and enforcing anti-bullying policies
j. By realizing that God is the one who does the complete transformation, in his timing, and his way