Help For Bullying Victims in Michigan USA
Stop Bullying Be a Survivor
Help! I'm A Victim of Bullying & Abuse
~You're Not Alone~
In this video Jeremiah sings--he was nearly bullied to death in school
NO ONE EVER DESERVES TO BE BULLIED OR ABUSED!!!
WARNING! MATURE CONTENT! READER DISCRESSION ADVISED!
Below is my story, I survived, you can too! ~Lisa Freeman
From the time of my earliest memory, I too was a victim/target of abuse.
Some memories are small.
I couldn't sleep. So I slept most nights in my parents bed. When I finally fell asleep I'd wake up in a cold sweat, having a horrible nightmare, unable to breathe. I later learned I had panic attacks & night terrors due to the abuse I suffered.
Some memories are sketchy.
All I know is I'm at home, in my parents bedroom, it's dark, I'm locked in, I'm crying, I'm scared, and I'm pounding my knuckles harder and harder against the door hoping that someone will let me out. She was a big woman. I'm guessing a babysitter while my parents went away.
Some memories I wish I could erase from my mind.
My parents bought me everything, cuz I was the baby--the youngest. But it felt like they never listened to me or really loved me. So I started wandering around the neighborhood looking for a place where I'd fit in. Boys and married men with wandering eyes and hands is all I found. I felt more unwanted than before and dirty--really dirty. But I couldn't tell my mom. She would think I was the dirty one--she never believed a thing I said.
Some memories were scary.
I got called all kinds of names at school. Names too nasty to mention. I was embarrassed and ashamed. But then one day I got in a fight, by accident. Weird, because I hated fighting. I hated the sight of blood. I closed my eyes and soon, everyone in the class was clapping and cheering my name. Somehow the other kid (a boy) was on the floor, bleeding. I won! I now had the proud position of SCHOOL BULLY. But then bigger bullies who came to our school from other schools were after me. I felt terrified every time I left my house, wondering if they were there watching, waiting, and ready to beat my face in.
Some memories were happy and sad.
I'd had a lot of boyfriends in my life--mostly guys that used me. But at 13, I finally met a guy that seemed to really care. It was love at first sight. He was four years older than me. So we went to different schools. I felt so happy and safe when I was with him. I hated us being apart. We started skipping school to be together. Soon the courts stepped in, put me on probation and forbid us to see each other. We still snuck around and met privately, but it wasn't enough. I cried every minute we were together. One day he looked into my eyes, wiped my tears away, and said, "No one's gonna keep us apart. Let's just runaway together." He promised he'd protect me. It sounded like the perfect plan.
Some memories I don't even know how I survived.
I had barely even been out of our small town, and had never thought of hitchhiking, stealing, or lying. But this was now, our new way of life. For two years we hitchhiked from state to state in blizzards, hurricanes, floods, and the scorching heat. We were homeless, penniless, starving, begging for nickels, dimes and quarters just to get a bag of chips to share. I was kidnapped, beaten, raped, forced into prostitution and nearly killed more times than I can count. But the worst part was when my boyfriend, who swore to love and protect me, began drinking, like his alcoholic abusive father, and turned on me too! I don't even know how I'm here today to write this story. (Check out Lisa's book series based on her chilling true life story) "Run For Your Life"
Some memories keep repeating themselves. The cycle of Dating Violence/Domestic Violence.
My boyfriend and I returned home when I was 15. He went into the Air Force. We planned to get married right after my 16th birthday, with my parents consent. I could hardly wait. When he came home on leave right before our wedding he seemed more mature but distant. He was drinking, getting high, and even showed up two hours late for our wedding rehearsal. I was so hurt. I thought about cancelling the whole thing. But my mom reminded me how much money my dad spent, besides, I was sure my man would change once we were married. I was dead wrong. Sadly, on our wedding night he beat me from one end of the hotel room to the other. Of course he apologize as always, with real tears in his eyes, saying he'd never do it again, but it happened over and over until, just one year into our marriage, he nearly killed me! (Check out Lisa's book series based on her chilling true life story) "Run For Your Life"
Some memories can seem so good but be so bad.
I wanted a good man. I wanted to have children. I wanted us to be a happy family like in the fairy tales. I met a guy at 18 at the church of all places, right after my divorce was final. He was a perfect gentleman. He opened doors for me, brought me flowers, told me how beautiful I was, and he even bought me a ring and proposed. We went to church and did everything together. I didn't really love him, but I knew in time I would. Yeah, he was a little different, slow, if you want to call him that. And I felt this nudge, kind of like an urging inside telling me not to marry him, but what if I never found anyone else half this good? So I went ahead, against all those urgings, and married him. Soon after I found that he was a chronic habitual liar and had a pornography obsession. (Check out Lisa's book based on these true events.) "The Pictures that Destroy the Mind"
Some memories are like pictures you can't get out of your mind no matter how hard you try.
We went to marriage counselor after marriage counselor, pastor after pastor, most telling us that I was the problem for his pornography addiction, and if I made myself more available to his demands everything would be okay. NOT! There were lots of red flags, but I was always told by everyone, even my parents, to stay with this man. Seven years later, I had lived through multiple affairs, venereal diseases, and giving into his sickening demands, but when I learned he had turned his dreaded addiction onto our three year old daughter that was the last straw! Child abuse is huge by partners. Watch out! (Check out Lisa's book based on these true events.) "The Pictures that Destroy the Mind"
Some memories come back to haunt you when you're healing.
After 26 years of bullying, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, and domestic violence, I started to take my life back. A single mother of 3, passed my GED, went onto college, maintained a 4.0, but then I began having these horrible freaky episodes in class, when I was at the store, anywhere, everywhere. I thought I was going crazy, having a heart attack, or dying. I couldn't breathe. I'd get all sweaty. My brain would go foggy. Everything would get swimmy. I felt faint. For two years I locked myself in my house afraid to go anywhere. I later learned I had severe panic attacks--Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from all the trauma I faced in life. For once I was safe, so my mind couldn't deal with letting me go back out into harms way.
Some memories motivate us to move in the right direction.
All my children, my new and current husband and even our dogs were abused/bullied in some form. They have all been through so much, yet they keep fighting. My precious son, Brian, had Asperger's Syndrome and a rare heart condition, fought longer and harder than any of us. He was bullied horrifically due to something he could not control. He was different, yet I loved everything about all those differences. Seeing through Brian's eyes, I could love the bullies, forgive the bullies, and do good for the bullies. Because that's how Brian lived, every single day. Sadly, Brian passed away from a blood clot in 2010. But his passion, love, and undying compassion for others motivates me to keep going and be the change for others. Overcoming fear, panic, and Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome isn't easy, but it sure beats the alternative--being locked up in my house--allowing my abusers to hold me hostage. Read Family Bios
In my adult life I still have to face those who have bullying behaviors. I've received nasty emails that brought me to tears, facebook messages that broke my heart, and letters & phone calls that threatened my life. But I've decided to not let those bullies control me or my emotions anymore. I know who I am.
A memory I'll never forget: When I went from Victim to Survivor.
We are only VICTIMS if we continue to let ourselves be. I am a SURVIVOR, and I believe you are a survivor too! Stop letting others abuse and bully you. You can go from victim to survivor too! DO SOMETHING. ANYTHING. But don't sit there and isolate yourself and try to get by in a protective bubble. I've been there and it nearly destroyed my life. Together we can stop abuse, bullying and violence.
Have a story of SURVIVAL or bullying to share? I would love to hear it! Email me!